


I've Got Rose

by goodisrelative



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-01
Updated: 2009-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-04 02:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodisrelative/pseuds/goodisrelative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> Contrary to what the Doctor had thought, she had never planned to save her father… until she'd watched him die the first time.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Got Rose

Title: I've Got Rose  
Author: goodisrelative  
Spoilers: Episode 8, _Father's Day_  
Rating: Kids +  
Summary: _ Contrary to what the Doctor had thought, she had never planned to save her father… until she'd watched him die the first time._  
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor the characters involved. They belong to BBC. I make no money from these works; they are for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: This started as tag-scene to Series/Season 1, Episode 7 _The Long Game_, because the look on the Doctor's face when he realizes that Rose told Adam about him needs to be addressed and it grew from there. Then I watched _Father's Day_ and knew I had to incorporate that into this story because it fit so well. A few tweaks here and there was all it took.  
A/N2: Thanks to [](http://pixie-on-acid.livejournal.com/profile)[**pixie_on_acid**](http://pixie-on-acid.livejournal.com/) for betaing so I could treat my Beta 1 to a story she _hasn't_ seen before! This one is for you, [](http://thekatebeyond.livejournal.com/profile)[**thekatebeyond**](http://thekatebeyond.livejournal.com/). Sadly, this was not British Beta'd because Beta 1 needed cheering up fast! So all mistakes there are completely this American's fault!  


* * *

 

_"I only take the best; I've got Rose."_

The words played over and over in her mind, like a mantra or the line of a favorite song long after the closing bars faded on the radio, for what seemed like weeks, but in her world was only a day or two. Time travel had a way of distorting her measurement of time. The words propelled her through the TARDIS; wouldn't allow her to look in the direction of the Doctor after closing the door. Instead she headed straight out of the console room and into the long, winding halls. She hoped the room she was headed for was still where she thought it was.

Rose was never sure, later, if she remembered the circular route or if the TARDIS moved it for her. Either way she found it – the library. She knew she could lose herself in the stacks and think. She had a lot to think about.

* * *

The Doctor was lost in his own thoughts. He knew Rose was on board; the TARDIS even told him exactly where she was, but he stayed at the controls as they slid through time and space. He hadn't asked her where they should go next – and she hadn't offered a destination as she darted out and away from him.

Neither was ready to talk to the other – although the Doctor had no idea what Rose was contemplating. Had he any inkling, he would have been afraid and with her instead of in the console room.

He hadn't meant to say those words – _I only take the best and I've got Rose_ – two days ago. Not aloud, not then, maybe not ever. The words had just slipped out – it had been as if his brain and his mouth were disconnected and the TARDIS was talking instead of him. The difference between his Rose and Adam had never been more apparent than right at that moment.

The git _still_ didn't get it, he was sure. Adam couldn't see the harm his actions could have done – the absolute horror he could have unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Rose might not understand the dangers, but she'd never thought to profit from the opportunities she had with him – until this last time. That was all Adam saw – what he could take from it and bugger the consequences he never bothered to consider. The Doctor was sure Rose would never do anything like she had with her father ever again.

The Doctor brought his racing thoughts back to the topic at hand – his words, so casually spoken, of Rose being the best. Did he really believe that now? Now, with the knowledge of her betrayal and her actions with her father still fresh in his mind? His hands moved on dials and levels. She'd told Pretty Boy who he was. But had he ever told her not too? It wasn't like she blabbed to just anyone or everyone – she told the person she thought would understand, would need to know, and who would be staying with them a while. And with her father, she was right in a way. He messed with time all the time. How could she completely understand that saving her father would unleash hell, especially since he had never explained any of the "rules," believing her too simple to understand them?

His thoughts battled back and forth, like the Earth caricatures of the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. In the end, the battle of good versus evil was resolved with a few thoughts that connected and rationalized what his first impression saw as betrayal. He hated to remember the past and talking about it was worse. Rose was like a saver of lost souls, easing the pain of those her life touched – or at least she tried to. Those thoughts merged into the rationale that Rose had told Adam because she knew the pain it brought him to remember, thinking he'd be traveling with them a sight longer than one disastrous trip into the future. And he remembered how he wanted to go back and change what he had done – still did – and only the understanding of what he would unleash had stopped him.

And did he really want to change that in her – her empathy? Part of the reason he'd asked her to come with him in the first place?

It took him less time to answer those questions than it did for just one of his hearts to beat. _No_.

* * *

He'd called her the best. She didn't deserve it. Maybe once, before the Dalek, she could have accepted it. But now? No. She'd _killed_ him.

She wouldn't accept his words. Once, she would have burned bright as the most brilliant sun at such praise from him. But now, _now _she knew they had to be just hollow words said for Adam's benefit. She'd seen the surprise in the Doctor's eyes when he had said them. Putting that together with the look of abject betrayal she'd seen in them when he'd realized Adam knew what the Doctor was, she knew the words couldn't be true. But it had taken this last adventure, this last trip to the past, for her to see just how much damage she had done and could do.

Truth be told, she wasn't sure why she'd told Adam about the Doctor. Never before had she offered anyone such information. But when Adam had asked, she'd answered with little hesitation.

But that transgression paled in comparison to what she had unleashed on the entire world just by acting without thinking – by letting her heart control her. Contrary to what the Doctor had thought, she had never planned to save her father… until she'd watched him die the first time. It was only then that the idea came to her. The Doctor returning to entice her with the fact the TARDIS could travel through time had meant nothing to her at the time he had said it. He could have returned and said _anything _and she would have gone with him.

All that stayed with her now was the knowledge that he had sacrificed himself for her. She had killed the Doctor. By saving her father, she had killed the Doctor. That knowledge terrified her, and not just because thoughts of the world came second to it.

She was a weakness he couldn't afford. He did good as he traveled through time. He knew the rules and did what he could… he saved people. All Rose could see that she did was kill people. Two hundred people had died when she resurrected the Dalek. Who knows what could have happened with her bringing Adam with them if the Doctor hadn't stepped in. And now, now she'd not only killed the world; she'd killed _him._

She knew that others always assumed they were a couple. And they were a pair, but more than that, she couldn't figure out. She trusted him with her life and he showed her things she'd never dreamed existed. She made him think about things he normally didn't at times.

But she made him make the wrong choices just by being with him. She'd seen it when the Aliens had tried to take over the world and they had been trapped in 10 Downing Street. He'd dismissed a solution because she could have died. He'd been unable to condemn her to death a second time with the Dalek. Then he tried to protect her by keeping her father alive when he should have been dead. And last, he'd sacrificed himself to save her.

He hadn't blamed her, except that one argument in her dad's flat, and even then he hadn't truly blamed her. He'd been more concerned that she'd used him and planned it all along. She'd known he wouldn't leave her, and just as she always counted on, he returned to save her.

_This wasn't how it was supposed to be! _ Her mind screamed as her tears fell and she began to sob. She was supposed to be helping him; she was supposed to be doing good. Except now she wasn't; now she was making everything worse. She brought the Doctor's worst nightmare to life; made him face the hell he had been through. She'd made him choose between the world and her, _multiple_ times. She'd killed the man – alien – she'd come to care about. It scared her to death what she could do _and had done_ to him.

Her tears fell harder as she thought of all the pain she had rained down on a man – alien! – who had only shown her the world, space and time. He given her more than she could comprehend and all she'd returned was pain and betrayal.

She had to stop hurting him. And in her mind, there was only one way to ensure that she would no longer hurt him, make him remember a past long dead and buried, and let him do the good he was meant to. She had to leave him. He was better off without her. She had to pack and then tell him it was time she left him.

* * *

Once the TARDIS was set and he had worked through his thoughts, he left the console room for the library, intent on finding Rose. They needed to talk.

* * *

Rose was sure of her plans, so she swiped her eyes with the back of her hand and pushed herself off the floor. She had a lot to do. She took a step and walked smack into the Doctor.

"Rose." He looked down at her, shocked at her tears. "What's going on here?" The concern in his voice only brought her tears again.

She didn't answer, only pushed past him, running from his concern, from _him. _ She couldn't handle it now.

* * *

But the Doctor wasn't one to be put off that easily and followed. He was worried about her. Women of all species were impossible to figure out – human women the worst of the lot. He had the experience of 900 years to realize this – but he knew something was truly bothering Rose.

The Doctor didn't need the TARDIS to tell him where Rose was this time. He could hear her sobs and knew she was in the bedroom she had claimed as her own.

He leaned a leather-clad shoulder against the doorframe and watched her for a minute. Rose was crying as she threw her things into her bag. It was like two arrows to the chest – one for each of his hearts.

"What are you doing?" he broke the silence, flooded with fear.

"I can't stay with you anymore," she whispered. Her tears fell harder as she looked up at him. "I killed you! Don't you understand? You were dead because of _me!_" She swiped her eyes with her hand. "All I do is bring you pain. Everything is wrong. It's not supposed to be like this. I thought I was helping, but it's all wrong!"

"Rose, you didn't kill me. I am right here." He told her softly, standing in front of her now.

"Because me dad knew what to do! Not because of me. I unleashed those, those _things _on the world! And you saved us. You told me not to touch baby Rose, but I did and you _died_!" she cried, turning away from him.

The Doctor turned her around and held her. "I should have told you some of the rules of time travel instead of insisting you were too simple to understand them. I should have stopped you. I should have never taken you there in the first place. It's not your fault, Rose."

"But that is just it! It _is_! I'm changing you; making you think of me before everything else and that isn't right. You are supposed to do good, not clean up my messes." She fought him, but he just held her tighter. "You're supposed to save the world and I came because I wanted more than what I had and I trusted you. But it's all wrong. Nothing's the way it should be."

"It's better than it should be, Rose." He wanted to tell her everything was fine, but he knew she wouldn't believe his words because she was smart enough to see the truth. He wanted to tell her that he could endure anything as long as she was with him, but he knew those words were something neither was ready to face. "I should be dead. I should have died hundreds of years before I met you, but here I am, with you. It's better with two, remember? You make me feel alive again. You help ease the pain of all that happened before you. You're right in that we can't keep on the course we have been on, but we can change that easily. I wouldn't be here now without your help with the Nestene Consciousness. The world needs _us_, because I need you. You do make things better, and with knowledge, we can avoid these problems in the future. If I had told you some of the rules in the first place, you would have known what would happen. And then you wouldn't have seen what you have."

"But I killed you. You think of me before the world! You make decisions you wouldn't have before me." Rose struggled less, but still hung on to her belief.

"Rose, I can die numerous ways. For the longest time, I _looked_ for ways to die. And I wouldn't have done all the good we've done if I hadn't been with you. It was because of you, we went the places we did. And remember Cardiff? It was my fault the Gelth almost took over the world. You disagreed with me, tried to make me see. If I had listened to you, Gwyneth would still be alive." One hand reached down and lifted her chin so she could look him in the eye. His other hand still held her close. She wasn't fighting him anymore. He was getting through to her. "It's not just you that is wrong some times. I am wrong, too, you know. You just haven't been around long enough to see all the times I am wrong. And if you leave me, you'll never see."

"How can you still want me to stay?" She asked, amazed. Her tears had stopped.

"Because you didn't kill me. I did that myself, and I'd do it again. What I said to Adam before we left him with that thing in his head, about only taking the best and having you. I meant it. You are the best, Rose. I've met so many people over my lifetimes, but very rarely do I invite one with me. And I've never asked one twice. I came _back_ for you, Rose. I don't know why, exactly, but there is something about you I want with me. You do something to me, Rose. You make me feel and I haven't felt anything but pain and despair since the War." Suddenly he broke into a maniacal grin.

"What are you thinking?!" she demanded, uneasy with the sudden return of a grin she'd never thought she'd see again.

"I never taught you how to use the TARDIS." He raised an eyebrow. "I am the only one of us who knows how. I do believe we have a lot more to see."

"You would keep me here against my will?" Rose was shocked, but she didn't move from his arms.

"No. But you don't _really_ want to leave. You just want to leave because you think it is better for me if you go." He met her eyes then, smiling. "Right?"

"I…" Rose sighed. He was right. She didn't want to leave him. She had her own condition though. "I will stay, BUT you have to promise me one thing."

This time his maniacal grin was even brighter… it reached his eyes. "Name it."

"Not only do you teach me the rules, as you said before, but next time I decide to leave, no matter the reason, you will take me back to my time." She didn't say home because this – being with the Doctor – was home for her now.

The Doctor sighed. She was serious, as serious as he had ever seen her. But he could give her that demand. "Done!" He agreed, gave her a quick hug and let her go. "You have some unpacking to do and I have a TARDIS to direct. I think a nice little vacation on a fun little planet is just what the Doctor ordered! Then we start your schooling."

Rose smiled. And that made the Doctor grin.

"Well, get moving!" This time she laughed as he headed out of her room. Maybe everything wasn't back to what it had been, but just maybe everything would be better this time around.


End file.
